Will Ferrell's twitter

Will Ferrell might not seem like a funny guy in some of his movies, but on twitter his is a big deal. I mean look at the following image (or read the text beneath it) to check some of his puns... And I know that some are really old, but there are really funny ones!

"I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they fuck up I will just hit them all at once."


"Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?"


"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died."


"I hate when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in bitches..."


"Sitting in green room with Justin Bieber... must resist urge to roundhouse kick him in his midget face"


"Dear life, when I said "can my day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question not a challenge."


"My hamster died today. He fell asleep at the wheel."


"On the other hand, I have different fingers."


"I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget."


"I never let my children watch big ban performances on TV. Too much sax and violins."


"I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid 
with two friends?"


"I guess wearing headphones and not speaking doesn't really signal "Fuck Off" well enough to some people."


"If I had Morgan Freeman's voice I would sit in a corner and talk to myself for days."




"That awkward moment when someone assumes you care about their opinion..."


"When looking something up on Google, if it isn't on the first page of search results then it 
doesn't exist and my journey ends there."


"My bed and I are deeply in love. It's obvious my Alarm Clock is jealous."


"Rearrange these words: 1)PNEIS 2)HTIELR 3)NGGERI 4)BUTTSXE... Did you read: Spine, lither, ginger and subtext? Naughty Naughty."


"I'm pretty sure the asshole that put the extra 'r' in February is the same guy who thought up the spelling for Wednesday..."


"Next time you feel a sneeze coming on, yell out "PIKA!" right before the sneeze."


"Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat."


"When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently."


"I got 99 cookies cause a bitch ate one."


"I'm a bit more cautious when deleting internet history. Thought it might look suspicious that I haven't been on the internet for two years."


"What does Stevie Wonder and Lebron James have in common? They both don't know what a Championship Ring looks like."